


Y(ou) = mx + (me)

by Hey_its_Laura



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hiccstrid - Freeform, High School, Humour, Sitcom, teacher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27861089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hey_its_Laura/pseuds/Hey_its_Laura
Summary: So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)A collection of little one shots with a continuous plot. Basically, if a fanfiction were a sitcom, but with teachers.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 30





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning: In no way am I a teacher. I'm writing based on things I've picked up in my years in school. I wrote this months ago, but I couldn't not post it. I have so many headcanons for this au! Thank you so much to my friend celtictreemuffin (On Tumblr) for enduring my rambling. Hope you enjoy!

“I’ll be asking for examples of each literary device. Make sure to remember that for you test on Thursday. Are there any questions?”

A knock sounds on the door frame and standing there is Hiccup, her coworker with his usual unruly auburn hair and slightly pink-faced. He takes the same bus as her to the school and she rarely sees him without his coat on. She’s pleasantly surprised to see that he fills out his button-up shirt quite nicely. Even more surprising that he’s standing here, with a raised hand.

“I actually have a question,” he says, stepping further into the classroom and clearing his throat. “Could I borrow some laptops for a couple blocks?”

All they’d ever shared were shy, fleeting glances to one another on cold afternoons, waiting for late buses. Astrid didn’t even know what he taught. The only reason she knew his name was because of staff meetings where they all had to introduce themselves at the start of the year.

“Yeah, no problem. The carts are right in…” She scans around herself frantically and locates the wires at the corner of her desk. If it were a snake, she’d have been bitten, because she stood right beside it. “Right there.”

Turning to the whiteboard to pretend she’s writing something is good idea, at the moment. Needing to hide her warming cheeks.

“Just make sure they’re back here by block three,” informs Astrid, still turned around, doodling meaningless lines with the dry-erase marker. She realizes it should form a coherent sentence for her students not to think she’s an idiot. Those squiggles could be quotation marks, right?

“Okay, I’m taking four and I’ll bring them back.”

Astrid nods at the whiteboard, very concentrated on her abstract art.

“Oh, and if any of you sees my assistant dog, Toothless, around, please bring him to room 208 or the staffroom.”

By the time she spins back around to ask what he looks like, Hiccup is gone.

From a desk near the front, a student whispers to her friend, “Dammit, I forgot to print out my bio project for his class today.”

He teaches science then.

Brian, a popular kid, from what she’s heard anyway, raises a hand in question.

“Yes?” she responds, grateful for the distraction.

“Ms. Hofferson, the science department is all the way downstairs.” A sly smirk decorates his face as he continues, “Why did Mr. Haddock come all the way up here?”

_Yeah, why did he?_

Steeling herself, she says, “The school has a limited amount of laptops.”

She cuts him off before he can reply with another witty comment, telling the class to review their essays.


	2. The One Where Fishlegs Knows

Hiccup is stupid for using the laptops as an excuse to talk to Astrid. But it’s not his fault he read an article, once, explaining how it was 10 times less probable for the person you like to like you back if you’ve never talked before. He wonders what study that article came from, but highly doubts the cover of a cosmopolitan magazine is a reputable source.

Terry, the cashier at the cafeteria, waves a hand in front of his face, snapping Hiccup out of his reverie. With a quick apology and an exchange of money, he continues his trek to the staffroom, fries and something he hopes is fried chicken in hand.

Often, he sticks his head into random classes calling for Toothless but no one seems to have spotted the black german sheprador. Why does he even bring the dog to school? Sure, he’s a helper dog, but he gets into more trouble to spite his Hiccup than actually help. “Thanks for nothing, you useless mutt,” he mutters under his breath.

Upon entering, the teacher’s lounge, Fishlegs sits right where he’d promised to be yesterday. “Hiccup, have you ever had any mishaps with the projector?” says the man, voice shaking.

“Umm… no. Why?”

“I… I kind of…” The big man audibly gulps, pulling at the collar of his brown sweater. “I forgot to freeze the screen. And I promise, it wasn’t on purpose! Stop laughing. The students saw all my dragon drawings.”

Fishlegs buries his face in his meaty hands, hiding from Hiccup’s judgement. This makes him grin even wider.

“Fish, here I was, thinking you’d somehow exposed these kids to–”

“Don’t say it!” He inspects the room for other teachers.

“I’m just saying, it’s not as bad as you think.” Hiccup sits down on the armchair opposite to his flustered friend and takes out his laptop. Alright, back to work. “What ideas did you come up with for projects to assign?”

That manages to successfully distract Fishlegs. He enthusiastically leans forward to Hiccup. “This one works more for my class than it does with yours, but I saw this super interesting project on Pinterest. It’s a full-on class debate on the benefits of forming a confederation! I was thinking of giving it to my nines…”

Just then, Astrid steps through the door, carrying a coffee mug and a binder filled to the max. All thoughts of assignments and projects flee his mind. She doesn’t seem to notice him and Fishlegs, but Hiccup has to be blind not to notice her stunning blue eyes. The eyes he sometimes caught with his own at the bus stop. She walks toward the two men and Hiccup can’t let Fishlegs see how he feels about her.

“Shhh, Fish, be cool, be cool…” Hiccup lowers his voice as she gets closer. He shifts awkwardly in the chair, then remembers he has to return the laptops he “borrowed because he didn’t have enough”.

“…You know, our history textbooks should be updated,” Fishlegs continues as if nothing had been said.

Maybe his friend didn’t notice his inner panic at seeing his crush. Gods, he feels like those kids he sees in the hallways, pining after another person who is oblivious to their existence.

“Wow. You must really like her.”

That snaps Hiccup out of his gawking. He faces Fishlegs, astounded at how he figured it out so quickly. “What makes you say that?” he returns as coolly as possible.

“She distracted you from a discussion on projects. That’s head over heels if I’ve ever seen it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Fishlegs the history teacher showed up.


	3. The One Where They Miss the Bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially started writing this story in little arcs (I don't follow this entirely anymore). This next chapter would be considered the end of the first one.

_Crap it’s raining again_.

Astrid reaches for the hood of her jacket, only to realize, she’s wearing one she doesn’t usually wear. The one that doesn’t have a hood. For real, she should be used to this. Berk isn’t a sunny place. As if on cue, thunder rumbles overhead and the rain thickens.

Hiding her bag the best she can inside her jacket, she trudges to the bus stop. Even then, the essays her twelves wrote, inside her bag, were done for. She succumbs to the fact that no matter what, she’d arrive home soaking wet.

She’s probably a miserable sight. What an image to behold for Hiccup, who glances at her awkwardly, with his stupid umbrella and that stupid look of pity of that stupidly adorable face.

_No, Astrid, that’s a run-on sentence. What is happening today?_

A cold rain drop lands right inside her collar and trickles slowly down her neck. Mild shivers overtake her. The other teacher’s missing dog, now found, looks between the two humans curiously. She checks the time on her phone, sighing, as it will be another half-hour until the next bus arrives.

“It’s Ms. Hofferson, isn’t it?” interjects a voice that is barely heard past the roar of cars on the road. “Do you want to come under the umbrella?” She turns to him and is surprised at his offer. He must take it wrong because he falls back. “Oh my… no, that sounded weird. I’m sorry.” He babbles on, but she takes his offer anyway, a light grin escapes her.

“Thanks,” she replies, appreciating the difference of not having rain constantly at her back. This close, she can feel the warmth emanating from his body. She was shivering for an all new reason now. “And ‘Astrid’ is fine.”

The dog, Toothless, if she remembers correctly, shakes his tail rapidly and it hits her repeatedly, splattering them in water.

“I see you found your dog.” She attempts to smooth down her damp hair.

A dry chuckle. “Well, the student teacher I’m mentoring decided it was a good idea to play a prank on me by taking Toothless with her around the school, keeping him hidden from me.” He glares down at Toothless. “And you were all too happy to follow her, weren’t you, bud?”

Toothless decides to show just how happy he is by running around them both and trapping them tightly in the leash.

“Aw, c’mon Toothless! Are you serious?”

Astrid nearly misses a head collision with his jaw. It doesn’t help her thundering pulse much either now that her mouth is resting at his shoulder. Though, it does make her smile that her heart isn’t the only one pounding furiously.

He reaches round her to untangle the cord, incessantly apologizing.

“It’s completely fine, don’t worry.” Laughter bubbles up within her. The rain continues its downpour. But under the umbrella, the cold is forgotten.

“I’m Hiccup, by the way,” he introduces himself, not meeting her gaze. “Or Mr. Haddock… if you’re one of _those_ teachers, heh.”

“I’ll call you Hiccup,” reassures Astrid. “Those teachers take things way too seriously.”

“I know right?”

Just like that, under that umbrella, being chaperoned by a match-maker dog, and waiting for a bus that will most likely never arrive, begins Astrid and Hiccup’s tradition of taking the bus together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toothless the matchmaker being all of us


	4. The One With the Seventh Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack :) If you've stuck around, good on you and thank you! These next few chapters are my pride and joy because Laura from 10 months ago was on a whole other level of comedy. I don't think i'll ever live up to it. Anyways, have fun!

Getting to work early meant extra time for organizing lesson plans and more time to enjoy her latte. Her notes are quickly interrupted by the opening of the staffroom door and a female voice.

“Astrid Hofferson, long time no see.”

Astrid turns around in her chair to find Heather decked in her usual blazer and jeans, her hair pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her friend is grins widely with arms inviting her in for a hug. She gladly obliges.

“Heather! I missed you!” Even though it may have only been a month since she last came to substitute a class, it felt like ages. “There’s so much I want to tell you, but I’m only free block four and five. I’m hosting an extra help session after school, so is there any time in your schedule that works?”

“I think block five works and I can stay to help you after school if you want,” offers Heather, putting the phone she pulled out to check her schedule back into her purse.

More teachers scatter in through the doorway, getting ready for another day of babysitting hormonal teenagers. Kristy White radiates on her way in. Of course, everyone knows why. All week she’s been talking their ears off about how _this_ wedding was going to be her last. Astrid hopes so. Seven marriages is a good time to stop.

She warns Heather to be on the lookout for Kristy and if she starts asking Heather for advice, just to nod and smile until she left.

“Good to know,” she replies. “By any chance, do you know where the languages department is? I’m subbing for a French class today.”

“I’d say it’s downstairs, but Fishlegs there knows that area like the back of his hand.” Astrid points to the man who is turned away from them.

Heather gives her a grateful smile as a goodbye. Astrid watches her friend as she introduces herself to Fishlegs, who lights up when he sees her. They seem to already have engaged in high conversation. Astrid makes to leave, but is pulled back by none other than Kristy.

“Astrid, girl, how’re you doing?”

 _Not good if you’re stalling me from getting to my class on time._ “Great, now I have to prepare for my…”

The lady shoves her phone into Astrid’s face, a screen on maximum brightness greets her. After her eyes readjust, she makes out the image of a middle-aged man.

“He’s good-looking right?” Kristy looks worried, as if she’s second-guessing herself.

Maybe she should tell her colleague to go with her gut instinct, but Astrid just sticks to the classic nod and smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Heather's here! In this au, she's supposed to be a consistent substitute teacher. She's just one of those teachers who don't officially work at the school full time but is always there anyway because she's the go-to person to call.


	5. The One With Coach J's Scrunchie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update woot woot! 
> 
> Finally we're here! The sole reason I even decided to post this story was because of this scene. I cherish it with all my heart. For the Snotlout fans, this one's for you.

“Mr. J, it’s insufferable! She keeps rambling on and on about how her fiancé might not be the one.”

“Yeah, I’m just there to learn math.”

Snotlout rolls his eyes at his athletes’ complaints. Sometimes kids just didn’t understand. Math isn’t important in real life anyway. That’s what calculators are for, duh.

“Guys, in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Just get on her good side and you’ll get an A.” Snotlout doesn’t like to brag, but his advice is pretty amazing. He surprises himself at times. “Oh, and you tell her, that the Snotmeister, here, thinks she’s pretty hot, so if this marriage doesn’t pull through, I volunteer to be Husband #8.”

“A wonderful example on how to get fired with Mr. Jorgenson.” Hiccup steps into view wearing joggers, a nice change from the jeans his cousin always has on.

“You came!” He pats Hiccup hard on the back and sends his students away. A chorus of farewells sound as they climb up the stairs back to the main gym. “Welcome to the weight room.”

His outfit is workout appropriate, but he needs something extra to complete the look. Snotlout digs in his box of hair ties, pulling out a fluorescent pink scrunchie to tie back Hiccup’s overgrown hair out of his face.

His cousin is frozen in place, which is frustrating, given how Snotlout can’t reach the top of his head without him bending down first. He follows Hiccup’s gaze to where Astrid, a teacher, drinks from her water bottle. Gods, she’s hot in a tank top and leggings. Hiccup seems to think so too.

“Hey! Lover boy, I’m going to need you to sit down STAT.” Hiccup blanches, thankfully obeys, or else Snotlout would have chopped off his other leg.

“Snot, I don’t think this is a good idea…”

“Na na no. I finally get you to work out and now you’re bailing on me because of googoo eyes over there.” He punches Hiccup’s arm after finishing the masterpiece of a mini ponytail.

“I work out…” he mutters as he rubs his red arm, then feels his head. “Hey, wait, what’s this?”

“My gym, my rules, Haddock. Now, drop and gives me 50.”

“50 what?”

“Push-ups, idiot.”

When Hiccup obliges, Snotlout spies on Astrid leaving out of the corner of his eye. He catches her double taking at his stick of a cousin sweating to the max after a single set. She runs off fast, but Snotlout understands enough of the situation to see what’s going on.

“So, you and Astrid, huh.” He smirks down at Hiccup lying, exhausted on the floor. Snotlout didn’t mean for Hiccup to do 103 push-ups, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Hiccup sighs defeatedly. “Is it really _that_ obvious?”

“Dude, I can’t believe it. You one night stood her, didn’t you?”

“WHAT?! No no no no, absolutely nothing has…” his voice lowers to a whisper, as if the classrooms can hear them shouting over the blaring music. “has happened between Astrid and I. One night stood? Is that even a phrase?”

They walk over to the weights and Hiccup begins doing what he calls: lifting. With that technique, Snotlout can’t see what Astrid will ever see in him, but he decides to bestow his inferior cousin with wise advice. That of which he’s gained through a lifetime of experience and hard, dolorous work.

“Cuz, if you want to seduce her, here’s how you go about it,” he instructs. Honestly, he should be paid or this, but it just goes to show how generous of a man he is for sharing his knowledge. “You have to start with the wine. Offer her a glass. Chicks dig wine. They think it’s sexier than beer. Why? I don’t know…”

Through laboured breaths Hiccups utters out, “No… alcohol on… campus.”

He throws his hands exasperatedly in the air and walks away. Snotlout clearly underestimated how sheltered Hiccup grew up under uncle Stoick’s care if he doesn’t know how to have _some_ fun every once in a while.

“I give up! Go be Hiccup somewhere else. I’m done with this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He has my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> There's more to come! But let's list what we've learned (she says in her teacher voice):
> 
> \- Astrid is an English teacher  
> \- Hiccup is a science teacher
> 
> I'm so excited to introduce other characters!


End file.
